Better than I Deserve

"She's so much more than I deserve," our friend said, shaking his head, "but I've asked her to marry me. She says she'll have me, and I certainly don't know why, but I'm a happy man!"

I had to smile because his words echoed a little tiny (maybe two by two inches) wall plaque that has been hanging in our home for most of the years of our marriage. It says: "A happy marriage is where both mates believe they got better than they deserve." I certainly did - and my husband says he did too.

I haven't really thought about this for a while, but our friends' words made me realize how amazing it is that both Joe and I still feel that way after nearly 30 years of marriage, daily seeing each other's faults, weaknesses and sins. Out of love and gratitude (mainly for the fact that we've managed to find someone who will actually put up with us and still love us) we strive every day to be worthy of each other. And really, that is a very foundational factor in a happy marriage.

I have another friend who has two women "dangling," trying to decide which one would be the better wife for him. He is handsome, brilliant, funny, successful and essentially a very lovable guy, but I wonder if he feels as if either of these women are better than he deserves or is he wondering which one deserves him? Will he ever feel the need to strive to be a better man in order to be worthy of any woman he might chose, among many, to be his wife? I kind of fear that he won't and that makes me very sad.

Having a great husband who is more than I deserve and the fact that he feels that I am more than he deserves is just one of the many, many expressions of God's grace to me. The ultimate one, of course, is that He does not treat me as my sins deserve. (Job 11:6) I am not one who will ever clamor for what I "deserve" because I have already been given much, much more than I ever deserve in Christ.